Our children crying is a very common trigger for most of us parents, and the most common reaction is to attempt to stop it. This reaction is not an intentional action but rather an unconscious one that happens automatically before we even realize it. That’s the way our conditioning operates, like a program running in the background, ready to operate when we get triggered and our consciousness doesn’t respond. Only through awareness we are able to change any reaction that is not in alignment with our values and create a connection with our children.
The question to ask yourself is: Does your child crying trigger your compassion and curiosity or does it trigger your anxiety and judgment? The first time you asked yourself this question, it will be hard to answer because we are just used to looking at our child instead of at ourselves; we know we want to be compassionate and guide our child through their big feelings but the reality might be different, we might find ourselves telling our child to stop crying or that there is no reason to cry.
So, next time your child cries, do this: Stop and look at yourself, what you are thinking, feeling and doing? Just with a few times journaling about it, it will be enough to give you a new perspective and definitively a new insight about yourself.
I also invite you to reach out to me or one of the Family Alchemist’s coaches to guide you through this process and help you find the limiting beliefs that are preventing you to have empathy and connect with your child in the way you want it.
Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist
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