Understanding that other people’s actions are a reflection of themselves is very difficult when we are still mostly operating from the unconscious because we take it personally. What happens is that since our identity as kids was formed based on what we were told, how we were treated, and the kind of relationship we had with our main caregivers, we learned that our worthiness or worthlessness comes from external validation. So, as adults, the actions or words from others still affect us if we have not done any kind of inner work to shift our beliefs and understand that we are inherently worthy, regardless of what anyone might say.
When we are aware, we still get triggered but instead of looking at what the other person is doing or saying as a measure of our worth, we see it as a reflection of their own inner state and own inner wounds. And our triggers help us to go within and examine our own wounds and work on our healing.
– Isabel Stafford, Family Alchemist
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